Sad Love
by Geo And Neo
Summary: I won't be deleting this one cause it's done...That, and lol, it's just that fact that I like it...XD
1. Chapter 1

She'd known him her entire life  
>She always dreamed to be his wife<br>Just his smile made her heart melt  
>But she never told him how she felt<p>

Forever hoped to have him here  
>Always dreamed to hold him near<br>Time passed and they both did grow  
>But still she never let him know<p>

Perfect chances passed her by  
>But she just couldn't tell this guy<br>No matter what she'd ever do...  
>He still didn't have a clue<p>

But one day her whole world did end  
>When she heard news from a friend<br>About the wreck he'd gotten in...  
>She'd never see his smile again<p>

Now at his grave she softly cries  
>The tears running from sad eyes<br>This hurting girl whose heart is broken  
>All because of love unspoken<p>

I love you more every day My name I long for you to say

Do you know just how I feel? Do you know this love is real?

Sometimes I wonder what you think When you hear my name, do your cheeks turn pink?

Do you dream about me every night? Wish to hug me and hold me tight?

Do you think we're meant to be? Together forever, you and me?

These are the questions that run through my mind Your way into my heart, you did find

It drives me crazy as to what I should do Should I risk a friendship and confess to you?

Or should I keep my feelings inside Keep them locked up, let them hide?

I just don't know what to do anymore My heart it aches, my heart it's sore

I love you more than you could know And I don't want to ever let you go

So even if I'm just a friend I'll always love you until the end

I know I promised I'd never make you cry; I know it hurts but please dry your eyes.  
>I will give to you whatever you need; A <span>hug<span>, a kiss, just tells me please.  
>To see you cry is a terrible sight; Just let me love you and I'll hold you tight.<br>I'll do anything you want to make you proud; I'll climb the highest peak and yell your name aloud.  
>I love you to much to see you cry; Please <span>sweetheart<span> don't say goodbye;

Don't push me away I must stay near; To gently wipe away your tears.  
>If we must truly say goodbye; One more time just close your eyes.<br>And let us share one final kiss; For you are the love, I will forever miss.

My head lays on my pillow;  
>the room is dark and damp.<br>(- if I could only see your face,  
>though I know that I can't)<p>

I try to close my eyes and sleep,  
>but your face haunts my dreams.<br>(I feel like I've been torn apart...  
>I'm broken at the seams.)<p>

I toss and turn; I'm restless.  
>I know I will not sleep;<br>(I know that I still think of you.  
>Do you still think of me?)<p>

My eyes now face the darkness;  
>the demon's haunting our lives.<br>(It seems we had it all and more;  
>Why did you leave me? Why?)<p>

It seems the clock ticks slowly,  
>and yet our love went by so fast.<br>(Just where did I go wrong in this,  
>to make this love not last?)<p>

I sit up smooth, but slowly;  
>I grip my sheets in my bare hands.<br>(Why did you have to leave me here?  
>I just don't understand...)<p>

It seems the night is quiet  
>as I stand by my dark window.<br>(You left with not a word to say;  
>why did you have to go?)<p>

The crickets dance like autumn.  
>The night is lit like June.<br>(I'm waiting for you to return;  
>are you returning soon?)<p>

Laying on my bed once more,  
>I stare blankly ahead.<br>(Was this all you or was it me?  
>Is our love truly dead?)<p>

I feel like such an empty pleasure,  
>like I could scream aloud this night.<br>(Was I just living in a dream?  
>Was nothing really right?)<p>

I watch the seconds pass me by;  
>The silence fills my heart.<br>(You know that I am fragile;  
>do you know I'm torn apart?)<p>

A tear slides down my ghostly face  
>and falls onto my sheets.<br>(Were you just playing with my head?  
>Did you truly love me?)<p>

I close my eyes so gently  
>as if I am afraid I'll break.<br>(How did we lose the love we had?  
>Was all the love a fake?)<p>

The questions lull me into sleep,  
>a sleep filled with your face.<br>(I thought that I had melt your heart  
>which no one could replace?)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to a quiet morning  
>the world is still the same<br>(you were the best that I had  
>and now I'm stuck with pain...)<p>

my routine passes quickly by  
>not consciously awake<br>(it seems you are the only one  
>is all this a mistake?)<p>

I feel like going back to bed  
>but your laugh lingers there<br>(you said that you would never leave  
>you said you'd always care)<p>

my breakfast has no taste at all  
>the news is nothing new<br>(do you know that I'm hurting now  
>- it's all because of you...)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

driving down a busy street  
>I skim the crowd for you<br>(you never even said goodbye  
>- there's nothing I can do)<p>

I take a turn off of my route  
>so that I'll pass your house<br>(it seems that you were just a cat  
>- was I the stupid mouse?)<p>

the numbers pass and yours is near  
>I speed up just a bit<br>(you must've known the plan so well  
>before you got into it...)<p>

and impulse makes me turn abrupt  
>and I am at your home<br>(I never thought you'd leave me  
>- why'd you leave me all alone?)<p>

I noticed while I parked my car  
>that five cars sat as well<br>(did you even try to catch me  
>do you know I fell?)<p>

with hesitation, I pull through  
>I walk right to your door<br>(could have told me what was wrong  
>do you love me no more?)<p>

I ring the bell and wait for you  
>it seems I wait so long<br>(why did you never call me  
>what ON EARTH did I do wrong?)<p>

the door opens so slowly  
>I hold my breath in deep<br>(did you ever even care?  
>was this make-believe?)<p>

it isn't you who answers  
>but a woman with tears in her eyes<br>(were there things that I didn't know?  
>are there things you still hide?)<p>

I ask to speak with you to her  
>but sadly she says no<br>(where'd you disappear to?  
>why'd you even have to go?)<p>

I scrunch my face and ask her why  
>- her answer breaks my heart<br>(did you ever care for me  
>you must've meant to break my heart...)<p>

"I'm sorry, he has passed away,  
>He's been dead for a week..."<br>(was it true, was it all love?  
>was death why you left me?)<p>

"...His wake and funeral have passed  
>his grave's a town away"<br>(will I never see your face?  
>not another word you'll say?)<p>

"Did you know him well?" She asks  
>I nod as tears fall down my face<br>(you always loved me... you always will  
>no one will EVER take your place...)<p>

"I was his boyfriend  
>I've been torn apart<br>I thought he had left me  
>- thought he'd broken my heart..."<p>

She replied, "I know I shouldn't tell you  
>but I feel that I must<br>and if I tell you this little secret  
>will you betray my trust?"<p>

I answered, "Oh, no, I never would do that  
>trust me with all your heart<br>I am better now, now that I know  
>he didn't mean to tear me apart..."<p>

"Dear, he died alone.  
>- His death was by suicide<br>he told no one about his plans  
>but suddenly took his own life."<p>

I break down crying  
>the woman kneels down<br>(why did you do this?  
>- I'd have helped you out!)<p>

with tears flowing down  
>the woman asks me my name<br>(without you, my love,  
>life will not be the same.)<p>

"Stephen, my name is Stephen  
>I suppose you are his mother?"<br>(my soul has been broken badly  
>you'll be replaced by no other.)<p>

"No, I am his aunt,  
>his mother's dead too<br>and if you're really Stephen  
>then he wrote this letter for you..."<p>

I look at the manila envelope  
>unopened and so smooth...<br>(Oh, what is inside this death note  
>- what have I made you do?)<p>

I opened the letter  
>so delicate; so scared<br>(Oh! What have you written?  
>Just what is in there?)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Stephen,

By now you must have noticed my absence from your life and that I am no longer among the living. You must have noticed that and thought that I had abandoned you, more now than ever since you are aware that I am never coming back. There is no definite reason for my departure from this world. I hope that you will not have it stuck in your head that it is because of you that I have killed myself. I hope that you are aware that it is not. I would like to tell you something: I have been addicted to many forms of self-mutilation for some time. I have not participated in activities that lack clothes or any activity that reveals skin, in fear that you or someone else, mostly you, would see or notice my scars and think less of me. It seems as if I am not good enough for you or anyone. That I will have no future, that I will never be able to take my shirt off without being self-conscious or reminded of my horrid past, or even present. I just can't... couldn't take it anymore. You seem so perfect... perfect life, perfect friends... it hurts... me being so flawed. I wonder what you saw in me, and if you were just playing games with my head. It drove me crazy. I know you must think it odd, but... there is so much pain coursing through my soul as I write this, I believe I will be at rest in the next life, or wherever death takes me. You may or may not forgive me, and you probably don't understand my reasoning... and most likely never will.  
>I would like you to have a picture of me, and I hope that you won't rip it up, I hope that you will never let me go, and I hope you will not hate me. Please, do not cry for me so that I can die in peace knowing I did not break your heart or I did not make you choose the same fate as I, myself, did. I hope that everything is and will be okay, and I hope that you will remember all of the good times that the two of us shared, and don't think of my life just by my suicide.<p>

P.S.- Please do not visit my grave. I do not want you to cry for me, and if you visit my grave, I am sure that you will cry.

I guess now It's time to  
>test my quote:<br>"All my love; 'til  
>death then in the ground."<p>

Love,

I broke into tears as I read the death letter  
>I knew that it made nothing deep inside better<br>he was gone, and I knew that he'd never return  
>no matter how hard I may wish or I'd yearn.<p>

and inside the smooth envelope  
>he left a lonely picture<br>his smiling face and his vibrant, blue eyes  
>(The Boy Who Took his Perfect Life)<p>

I never will forget you  
>I want to make sure THAT you know<br>all my love 'till in the ground  
>(I'll never let you go...)<p>

Thanks so much for reading. This is by far the longest poem ever written, but it seems so short to me. If anyone has actually read this far, I hope that you will be courteous enough to vote on my poems, especially since I took the time to write this long poem, it takes just a second to vote. Even if it's just a random vote, it means everything. I hope that you enjoyed my poem, and I would be even better if you told me how much you did or didn't enjoy my poem though a comment. I thank you for taking the time, once again, and I hope that you will look out in a week or so for a new batch of poems.

Thanks Again,

Stephen White

Submission date : 2006-10-25  
>Last edit : 2008-01-20<p>

Visits : 233590  
>Votes : 350<br>Rating : 4.8

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	2. Chapter 2

Tonight,  
>I tried to<br>As much as I could  
>Write some nice words about you.<br>But my pen froze  
>As soon as I wrote,<br>I love you.  
>When I asked for the reason<br>The pen said,  
>She doesn't deserve your love,<br>Like the colors of the leaves  
>She changes every season.<p>

My head lays on my pillow;  
>the room is dark and damp.<br>(- if I could only see your face,  
>though I know that I can't)<p>

I try to close my eyes and sleep,  
>but your face haunts my dreams.<br>(I feel like I've been torn apart...  
>I'm broken at the seams.)<p>

I toss and turn; I'm restless.  
>I know I will not sleep;<br>(I know that I still think of you.  
>Do you still think of me?)<p>

My eyes now face the darkness;  
>the demon's haunting our lives.<br>(It seems we had it all and more;  
>Why did you leave me? Why?)<p>

It seems the clock ticks slowly,  
>and yet our love went by so fast.<br>(Just where did I go wrong in this,  
>to make this love not last?)<p>

I sit up smooth, but slowly;  
>I grip my sheets in my bare hands.<br>(Why did you have to leave me here?  
>I just don't understand...)<p>

It seems the night is quiet  
>as I stand by my dark window.<br>(You left with not a word to say;  
>why did you have to go?)<p>

The crickets dance like autumn.  
>The night is lit like June.<br>(I'm waiting for you to return;  
>are you returning soon?)<p>

Laying on my bed once more,  
>I stare blankly ahead.<br>(Was this all you or was it me?  
>Is our love truly dead?)<p>

I feel like such an empty pleasure,  
>like I could scream aloud this night.<br>(Was I just living in a dream?  
>Was nothing really right?)<p>

I watch the seconds pass me by;  
>The silence fills my heart.<br>(You know that I am fragile;  
>do you know I'm torn apart?)<p>

A tear slides down my ghostly face  
>and falls onto my sheets.<br>(Were you just playing with my head?  
>Did you truly love me?)<p>

I close my eyes so gently  
>as if I am afraid I'll break.<br>(How did we lose the love we had?  
>Was all the love a fake?)<p>

The questions lull me into sleep,  
>a sleep filled with your face.<br>(I thought that I had melt your heart  
>which no one could replace?)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to a quiet morning  
>the world is still the same<br>(you were the best that I had  
>and now I'm stuck with pain...)<p>

my routine passes quickly by  
>not consciously awake<br>(it seems you are the only one  
>is all this a mistake?)<p>

I feel like going back to bed  
>but your laugh lingers there<br>(you said that you would never leave  
>you said you'd always care)<p>

my breakfast has no taste at all  
>the news is nothing new<br>(do you know that I'm hurting now  
>- it's all because of you...)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

driving down a busy street  
>I skim the crowd for you<br>(you never even said goodbye  
>- there's nothing I can do)<p>

I take a turn off of my route  
>so that I'll pass your house<br>(it seems that you were just a cat  
>- was I the stupid mouse?)<p>

the numbers pass and yours is near  
>I speed up just a bit<br>(you must've known the plan so well  
>before you got into it...)<p>

and impulse makes me turn abrupt  
>and I am at your home<br>(I never thought you'd leave me  
>- why'd you leave me all alone?)<p>

I noticed while I parked my car  
>that five cars sat as well<br>(did you even try to catch me  
>do you know I fell?)<p>

with hesitation, I pull through  
>I walk right to your door<br>(could have told me what was wrong  
>do you love me no more?)<p>

I ring the bell and wait for you  
>it seems I wait so long<br>(why did you never call me  
>what ON EARTH did I do wrong?)<p>

the door opens so slowly  
>I hold my breath in deep<br>(did you ever even care?  
>was this make-believe?)<p>

it isn't you who answers  
>but a woman with tears in her eyes<br>(were there things that I didn't know?  
>are there things you still hide?)<p>

I ask to speak with you to her  
>but sadly she says no<br>(where'd you disappear to?  
>why'd you even have to go?)<p>

I scrunch my face and ask her why  
>- her answer breaks my heart<br>(did you ever care for me  
>you must've meant to break my heart...)<p>

"I'm sorry, he has passed away,  
>He's been dead for a week..."<br>(was it true, was it all love?  
>was death why you left me?)<p>

"...His wake and funeral have passed  
>his grave's a town away"<br>(will I never see your face?  
>not another word you'll say?)<p>

"Did you know him well?" She asks  
>I nod as tears fall down my face<br>(you always loved me... you always will  
>no one will EVER take your place...)<p>

"I was his boyfriend  
>I've been torn apart<br>I thought he had left me  
>- thought he'd broken my heart..."<p>

She replied, "I know I shouldn't tell you  
>but I feel that I must<br>and if I tell you this little secret  
>will you betray my trust?"<p>

I answered, "Oh, no, I never would do that  
>trust me with all your heart<br>I am better now, now that I know  
>he didn't mean to tear me apart..."<p>

"Dear, he died alone.  
>- His death was by suicide<br>he told no one about his plans  
>but suddenly took his own life."<p>

I break down crying  
>the woman kneels down<br>(why did you do this?  
>- I'd have helped you out!)<p>

with tears flowing down  
>the woman asks me my name<br>(without you, my love,  
>life will not be the same.)<p>

"Stephen, my name is Stephen  
>I suppose you are his mother?"<br>(my soul has been broken badly  
>you'll be replaced by no other.)<p>

"No, I am his aunt,  
>his mother's dead too<br>and if you're really Stephen  
>then he wrote this letter for you..."<p>

I look at the manila envelope  
>unopened and so smooth...<br>(Oh, what is inside this death note  
>- what have I made you do?)<p>

I opened the letter  
>so delicate; so scared<br>(Oh! What have you written?  
>Just what is in there?)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Stephen,

By now you must have noticed my absence from your life and that I am no longer among the living. You must have noticed that and thought that I had abandoned you, more now than ever since you are aware that I am never coming back. There is no definite reason for my departure from this world. I hope that you will not have it stuck in your head that it is because of you that I have killed myself. I hope that you are aware that it is not. I would like to tell you something: I have been addicted to many forms of self-mutilation for some time. I have not participated in activities that lack clothes or any activity that reveals skin, in fear that you or someone else, mostly you, would see or notice my scars and think less of me. It seems as if I am not good enough for you or anyone. That I will have no future, that I will never be able to take my shirt off without being self-conscious or reminded of my horrid past, or even present. I just can't... couldn't take it anymore. You seem so perfect... perfect life, perfect friends... it hurts... me being so flawed. I wonder what you saw in me, and if you were just playing games with my head. It drove me crazy. I know you must think it odd, but... there is so much pain coursing through my soul as I write this, I believe I will be at rest in the next life, or wherever death takes me. You may or may not forgive me, and you probably don't understand my reasoning... and most likely never will.  
>I would like you to have a picture of me, and I hope that you won't rip it up, I hope that you will never let me go, and I hope you will not hate me. Please, do not cry for me so that I can die in peace knowing I did not break your heart or I did not make you choose the same fate as I, myself, did. I hope that everything is and will be okay, and I hope that you will remember all of the good times that the two of us shared, and don't think of my life just by my suicide.<p>

P.S.- Please do not visit my grave. I do not want you to cry for me, and if you visit my grave, I am sure that you will cry.

I guess now It's time to  
>test my quote:<br>"All my love; 'til  
>death then in the ground."<p>

Love,  
>shyLuna12(YukiNagatoTheAngel)<p>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I broke into tears as I read the death letter  
>I knew that it made nothing deep inside better<br>he was gone, and I knew that he'd never return  
>no matter how hard I may wish or I'd yearn.<p>

and inside the smooth envelope  
>he left a lonely picture<br>his smiling face and his vibrant, blue eyes  
>(The Boy Who Took his Perfect Life)<p>

I never will forget you  
>I want to make sure THAT you know<br>all my love 'till in the ground  
>(I'll never let you go...)<p>

To My Ex-Boyfriend

Looking back on everything,  
>I still remember his smile.<br>I wish things didn't end so soon,  
>And turn back time for awhile.<p>

No matter how much it hurts,  
>I still love him so.<br>A part of me needs him so much,  
>Can't seem to let him go.<p>

Knowing I won't be able to see him,  
>Makes my heart cry out in pain.<br>I can't believe we won't talk anymore,  
>The thought makes me wanna go insane.<p>

He was my reason for waking up,  
>For the smile you see on my face.<br>Going a single day without him,  
>Makes me feel so out of place.<p>

I was afraid of opening up,  
>Now I'm afraid of the next day.<br>Whenever I see him one last time,  
>I'm terrified of what he may say.<p>

I know tomorrow will hurt,  
>But the tears will fade away.<br>Life is too short for regrets,  
>There will be a brighter day.<p>

But when I see him one last time,  
>I won't know what to do...<br>When he tells me that last goodbye,  
>I'll whisper,"I already miss you.."<p>

From

Your Lover For Ever

Age of six  
>He loved her so<br>And everyday  
>He'd let her know<p>

"I love you Grace"  
>He'd say each day<br>She'd just laugh  
>And run away<p>

Till one day  
>She turned around<br>And sat with him  
>On the playground<p>

"I'm sorry Chris  
>I don't love you<br>You'll find someone else  
>Who loves you too"<p>

Highschool came  
>They met again<br>They laughed about  
>The things back then<p>

They began to date  
>And fell in love<br>He got the girl  
>That he'd dreamed of<p>

But when college came  
>Everything changed<br>They were far apart  
>With lives rearranged<p>

"We'll be fine Grace"  
>But she had doubt<br>She turned and said  
>"It won't work out"<p>

"I'm sorry Chris  
>I can't love you<br>You'll find someone else  
>Who loves you too"<p>

In their twenties  
>They met again<br>They laughed about  
>The things back then<p>

He took her hand  
>They began to dance<br>Remembering  
>Their old <span>romance<span>

Two years later  
>She became his wife<br>They'd be together  
>All of their life<p>

They went on a drive  
>When it was no longer light<br>They drove down the roads  
>Of the <span>starry night<span>

The music came on  
>She started to sing<br>He whispered, "Grace  
>You're my everything"<p>

But then suddenly  
>In one big flash<br>Headlights shone  
>As their car crashed<p>

He saw her laying  
>Down on the ground<br>He felt his tears  
>Start rolling down<p>

"Grace..." he cried  
>She took his hand<br>"I have to leave...  
>Please understand"<p>

"I love you so much  
>It's always been true<br>But you'll find someone else  
>And you'll <span>love again<span> too"

"No," he cried  
>"It's always been you<br>I don't want someone else  
>I only want you"<br>And there on that street

Is where he cried  
>Hugging his love<br>As she slowly died

I love you more every day,  
>My name I long for you to say.<br>Do you know just how I feel?  
>Do you know this love is real?<br>Sometimes I wonder what you think.  
>When you hear my name, do your cheeks turn pink?<br>Do you dream about me every night?  
>Wish to <span>hug<span> me and hold me tight?  
>Do you think we're meant to be?<br>Together forever, you and me?  
>These are the questions that run through my mind,<br>Your way into my heart, you did find.  
>It drives me crazy as to what I should do,<br>Should I risk a friendship and confess to you?  
>Or should I keep my feelings inside,<br>Keep them locked up, let them hide?  
>I just don't know what to do anymore,<br>My heart it aches, my heart it's sore.  
>I love you more than you could know,<br>And I don't want to ever let you go.  
>So even if I'm just a friend,<br>I'll always love you until the end.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Funny Quotes My Friends Made**_

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

A best friend shares the good times and help you out by listening during the bad times.

One's best friend is oneself.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don?t need it and your enemies won?t believe it.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

A friend is a gift one give oneself.

My best friend is the someone who brings out the best of me.

The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.

A best friend can tell you things you don't want to tell yourself.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain not, they weren't true friends in the first place.

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

Thick and thin, tall and small, fast and slow. Tell me who is always there for you. I am sure you know. Your best friend, of course, don't let him or her go

Icarus flew to the sun and his wings melted. YukiNagatoTheAngel flew to the sun, and the sun melted

Aliens fear that YukiNagatoTheAngel might abduct them.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of is called YukiNagatoTheAngel is called Logic

shyluna12 won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

shyluna12 has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Once the cop pulled over YukiNagatoTheAngel...the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

YukiNagatoTheAngel doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it

If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in shyluna12. The answer is always YukiNagatoTheAngel. that acctuley worked .

A blind man bumped into YukiNagatoTheAngel. The simple act of touching her cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by YukiNagatoTheAngel.

_**Random Funny Sayings**_

A woman can humiliate any man by simply saying "Hold my purse."

Women and rocks are very much alike ... We skip the flat ones.

Women are like dollar bills; hard to pickup, but worth the effort.  
>I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three<p>

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread

_Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge  
><span>_

A fool is a 27 story window-washer who steps back to admire his work.

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it

A day without sunshine is like, well, night

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. - A speech is like a bicycle wheel; the longer the spoke, the greater the tire.

How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost? I dunno, 100000?

Sometimes, a cute friend makes an acutely painful enemy.

No guy is worth your tears & the ones who are won't make you cry.

Always laugh when you can. It is cheaper than medicine…

To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world"

The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.

You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.

I'm cute in gym shorts! I'm slim and trim, and you'd be impressed - I've good calves.

Never live life unnoticed .

You've got you're perfect hands on my nervous heart.

In order to be irreplaceable, you must always be different.

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same.

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.

Cute is when a person's personality shines through their looks. Like in the way they walk, every time you see them you just want to run up and hug them.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Having nothing, nothing can you lose.

Don't drown the man who taught you to swim.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.

You are well-educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it.

Nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget.

Insanity is hereditary you get it from your kids.

Cats are magical - the more you pet them the longer you both live.

It's funny that those things your kids did that got on your nerves seem so cute when your grandchildren do them.

Never look back unless youre planning to go that way.

What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters to what lies within us.

Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away…

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Half of the people in the world are below average.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

Love is just something you can't explain, like the look of a rose, the smell of rain, or the feeling of forever .

Life is not a game so don't play it, if you don't know how to win it.

_**Funny Halloween Sayings**_

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.  
>- Jean Baudrillard<p>

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?

Double, double toil and trouble;  
>Fire burn and cauldron bubble.<p>

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, 'Never take candy from strangers.' And then they dressed me up and said, 'Go beg for it.' I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, 'Trick or treat. No thank you.'

When witches go riding,  
>and black cats are seen,<br>the moon laughs and whispers,  
>'tis near Halloween.<p>

There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery.

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on.

I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

On Halloween, witches come true;  
>Wild ghosts escape from dreams.<br>Each monster dances in the park.

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

After eating chocolate you feel godlike, as though you can conquer enemies, lead armies, entice lovers.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

The werewolf is neither man nor wolf, but a satanic creature with the worst qualities of both.

The witches fly  
>Across the sky,<br>The owls go, "Who? Who? Who?"  
>The black cats yowl<br>And green ghosts howl,  
>"Scary Halloween to you!"<br>_

_**Quotes About Stupidity**_

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.  
>- Confucius<p>

OMG! The rain is wet!

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.  
>- Plato<p>

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I just made your horn louder.

Please provide the date of your death.

Being stupid is its own reward.

What a waste it is to lose one's mind.  
>Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.<p>

Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.

Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed.

Stop being so stupid. It's my turn.

Don't expect the unexpected unless the unexpected expects you.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

The world is more like it is now then it ever has before.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure.

First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards.

Stupidity is the language of most of the guys

Everybody has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.

There is no sin except stupidity.

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motive.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Funny American Sayings**_

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.

America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

America is the only nation in history which, miraculously, has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization.

The business of America is business and the chief ideal of the American people is idealism.

America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.

At least the Pilgrim Fathers used to shoot Indians: the Pilgrim Children merely punch time clocks.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built The largest shopping center in the world?

It is impossible for a stranger traveling through the United States to tell from the appearance of the people or the country whether he is in Toledo, Ohio, or Portland, Oregon. Ninety million Americans cut their hair in the same way, eat each morning exactly the same breakfast, tie up the small girls curls with precisely the same kind of ribbon fashioned into bows exactly alike; and in every way all try to look and act as much like all the others as they can.

The main thing that endears the United Nations to member governments, and so enables it to survive, is its proven capacity to fail. You can safely appeal to the United Nations in the comfortable certainty that it will let you down.

I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor.

The keynote of American civilization is a sort of warm-hearted vulgarity. The Americans have none of the irony of the English, none of their cool poise, none of their manner. But they do have friendliness. Where an Englishman would give you his card, an American would very likely give you his shirt.

_**Funny Emo Sayings**_

I wish my lawn mower was emo so it would cut itself.

I hurt myself, so I can feel alive.

It's quite ironic that in life, the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness..

"If I'm such and important person, why do you stutter when i ask you if you know my name?"

"If you love me so much, why are you walking away?"

"Can you give me a reason for coming out of the closet?"

Your coment cheered me up.

Since when was my name on the attendance, am i really that important?"

Sometimes if you love someone so much, it will actually hurt more.

Here we are! A compilation of some of Dan's best emoisms from the past week.

"Life is worthless. Would you please leave me Evelyn so that I can end it all? You're the only reason I'm living for and I wanna start dying."

"Mother suspects that I'm a gayer. She stormed into the room with your dress that I had borrowed last night. I think she found it on the stairs, which is where I left it after coming home drunk earlier."

"I think I'm dying Evelyn. I can hear the vampire bats of death flapping away in my head like an insane drill of doom"

"What's the point in eating when you just end up crapping it all out anyway?"

"What's the point in ever trying to be happy when the very pursuit of happiness is what makes you miserable."

"I tried to cut myself last night to Joy Division with my toothbrush. I was sitting there trying to peel away as many layers of skin as I could but I couldn't make a serious dent in my arm. I kept doing it for half an hour. My mother actually thought I was brushing my teeth for that long!"

"Jesus didn't have to go through half of the pain I'm experiencing now. At least he knew he was special. I have no such assurances. I'm just another outbreak of the human virus which has contaminated Planet Earth."

"There is such beauty in despair Evelyn, don't you think?"

"I tried to suffocate myself in the cupboard last night, but I came out when I heard the theme tune to Lost. I simply can't afford to miss an episode of that show."

"Euthenasia sounds like such a good idea. Why can't young people sign up for it voluntarily? I'm tired of waking up every morning and crying into my Rice Krispies. It's just Sob, Splutter and Sob for me, every goddamn day."

"I've never felt I've been valued by anyone. I'm just a waste of space that everyone ignores, like a ghost without a home."

"Sometimes I want to break out of his vacuum but I just can't. The space demons keep calling me back into the void. I feel comfortable there!"

"I want to die but I can't think of a way to end it all that involves cotton wool. I'm terrified of blades."

"I wish I was a duck, then I wouldn't have to give a damn y'know? I could just sit there in the pond and float about, eating scraps of bread. It's my idea of heaven y'know? Perhaps that's what happens when you die and you've been good! You go to the great pond on the sky where the Lord will feed you bits of bread for all eternity"

"I'm tired of being made the scapegoat in life. I feel like I'm being persecuted at every possible moment. Even if a kitty comes up to me I'm suspicious of it's motives. I know it's just there to make a fool out of me."

"If God exists why did He have to give me such a horrible looking body? I mean what's the point in having nipples if you are a man? I've tried biting them off in the past but I doubt I could handle the pain. I don't know what I'd say to Mother on the way to the hospital either…"

"Bill Hicks…how adorable! There's just something about him that reminds me of a chipmunk. I'd love to feed him a bit of wood and stroke his wig. What do you mean he's dead?"

_**Funny Redneck Quotes**_

He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.

If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

Don't worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

If you lie to the computer, it will get you.

You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a  
>5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…<p>

She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister's  
>wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.<p>

My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her  
>neck to get the dogs to play her.<p>

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.

It's colder than a mother-in-law's love.

She's uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Ain't no point in beatin' a dead horse…'course, can't hurt none either.

I'd love to have a dress just like that, but I don't go to many Puerto Rican proms.

He's so stupid, he couldn't find his ass with both hands.

_**Funny Women Quotes**_

To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

I hate women because they always know where things are.  
>by Malcolm de Chazal<p>

Women are scientifically proven to be right even when they are wrong.

A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women make me happy. Once accepting that i will never be able to understand them makes me more happier.

A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

There are two ways to rule a women and nobody knows them..

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Women sleep on the right side of the bed because even while sleeping they have to be right!

Men will spend 2 bucks on a 1 buck item that they desperately need. Women will spend 1 buck on a 2 buck item that they don't need at all.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's - That's because she changes it more often.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

_#9 Deadly Words Used By Women:_

**1) Fine**  
>This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.<br>**2) Five Minutes**  
>If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.<br>**3) Nothing**  
>This is calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.<br>**4) Go Ahead**  
>This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!<br>**5) Loud Sigh**  
>this is actually a word, but is non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)<br>**6) That's Okay**  
>This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.<br>**7) Thanks**  
>A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I wan to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. That will bring on a 'whatever'.)<br>**8) Whatever**  
>Is a woman's way of saying FUCK YOU!<br>**9) Don't worry about it, I got it**  
>Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrog?' for the woman's response refer to #3.<p> 


End file.
